For several weeks now, the mass media in Nigeria has been awash with reports of husband killing wife, wife killing husband and so many unimaginable cases of domestic violence. Many people who read such reports have continued to analyze the incidents and judge the parties involved in such cases. You hear comments like: “That man is very wicked” or “That woman is a devil.”
You see, it is very easy to judge and condemn people who do wrong things. Yes, the devil is behind all these evils as he has unleashed an aggressive attack against the family institution. The purpose of this piece however, is to examine our ways and be sure we are not as guilty as the people we are condemning. SO, CAN YOU KILL YOUR SPOUSE? Before you give me a NO answer, put yourself on a scale.
When your spouse has a good dream and you do everything to frustrate the actualization of that dream, you are a killer.
When you deny your spouse access to consummation of marriage in form of sexual pleasure and satisfaction, what are you doing? When you cheat your spouse in financial matters, you are already killing the person. An example is inflation of costs of an item you collected his or her hard earned money to purchase. When you use employees like driver, houseboy or maid, gardener, cook, and so on to extort money from your spouse, you are already injecting the person with a killer medicine.
When you harbour a grudge over an offence committed against you by your spouse long ago, and refuse to forgive the offence after an apology, or claim to have forgiven, but keep making reference to that offence, you are an emotional tormentor and murder beckons. You are not even in a good relationship with God because Jesus said: “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15).
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then, come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24)
If you have an unforgiving spirit, not even your gift to God in form of church activities or funding church projects can bribe God to alter his word and biblical standards. If forgiveness is difficult for you, you are an enemy of God. You need repentance.
When you sell off a property jointly owned with your spouse without his or her knowledge and keep the proceeds to yourself, you have shot a killer bullet.
When as a married person, you sign documents with prospects of financial benefits and in them, give a next-of-kin status to your younger ones while your spouse is alive, you have dug your spouse’s grave ahead of your exit.
If your spouse has a health challenge or is heavy with pregnancy and you expect her or prevail on her to do stressful things that could threaten safety of her life or the baby, you are a murder suspect.
When you embark on a gigantic project such as house building, without the knowledge of your spouse, you are guilty. When your spouse never gets to know how much you earn as salary, or whether you ever get paid or not, you are guilty. When you enrol in an evil secret society and your spouse is not aware, you are a trust betrayer and her possible killer. When you have a top secret that your spouse does not know about you, such as having a child outside wedlock, you are worse than Judas Iscariot. You have a time bomb that will definitely explode; and when it does, somebody may die.
If you are a married person that physically assaults your spouse for whatever reason, you are simply warming up for a murder charge. If you are a wife that insults your husband (your head) in public or in secret without remorse, then, there is nothing you cannot do to him. You are not a wife but a knife. You are already inviting the devil to help you achieve a murder incident either for you or against you.
If you are a married person that honours the counsel or words of some friends or third party more than that of your spouse in decisions that concern the marriage, you are guilty. If you are the type that frowns at any move to send feeding money to your spouse’s aged parents, examine your ways.
When you deny your spouse access to sexual pleasure without a cogent reason, you are tempting the devil. “Do not defraud one another, except it be with mutual consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again” (1st Corinthians 7:5).
If you are someone who tarnishes the image of your spouse before your children by deliberately giving them impression that he or she is a bad person, you are not far from a murderer.
If you break your marital vows by having extra-marital affairs, you are a betrayer, worse than Judas Iscariot. The list is endless.
So, CAN YOU KILL YOUR SPOUSE? If your answer is YES, you need to repent, confess your sins, forsake them and ask for God’s forgiveness.
Then, your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.