Saturday 23rd September, 2017
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I'm attracted to a married woman

I'm attracted to a married woman

I enjoy reading your col­umn in the Authority On Sunday. You sound like the kind of person who would get me a solution to this problem I have. At my age (40 years), I am yet to get married. The thing is that I am an introvert and my speaking ability is poor.

I like to meet women, espe­cially when they are tolerant, funny, pious, Godly, simple, supportive, decent, down-to-earth and smart; I will really want one like that as a life part­ner. But I can hardly express my feeling to them ever. I am more confused because I keep asking myself how I would know that a woman is foreordained for me?

Recently, I met a woman; a lady who makes fruit juices at a place I visit with my friends. I have received gifts (fruits) from her. Sometimes she sells to me, but other times, she just gives me fruit juice on the house. This has happened a number of times. I even found out that we are from the same town but she’s married to someone from another state.

One day, she came by my ta­ble expressing her love for me; she told me she loved my quiet nature. In fact she wanted to be friends with me. I gathered that she is a second wife to her husband and I have gotten quite suspicious of her mo­tives. However, I am attracted to her for many reasons, but I am at the crossroads what to do about her and my attraction to someone else’s wife.

What do you think I should do about this? A friend has counseled me to stay away from her but I just find myself going back to the fruit place even when I do not have busi­ness there, just to see her. What should I do?


Dear Ben,

Just listen to yourself. The woman is married and you have no business at all feeling like you are at the crossroads. Leave this woman alone. Imag­ine what would happen to you if her husband ever got wind of what is happening or waiting to happen between you two. More­over, you said you were a Chris­tian; search your heart therefore how you would feel before God if you took another man’s wife. Remember, the Bible is clear on such a relationship.

My advice to you is to get ahead of your feelings, whatever they are, and stop visiting the juice place. Remember what the Bible says about temptation? It says, “flee” from it! That is your cue, run now while you still have your integrity intact. That is all I can tell you. The ball is your court now. I wish you good luck