Sunday 28th May, 2017
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Look for someone who can share with you what they have

Look for someone who can share with you what they have

Marriage and relation­ships are about caring and sharing. A stingy person, right from the beginning is bad news. If you meet someone who finds it extremely difficult to share anything they hae with you, run away because they are not ready to make you part of thi­er lives.
Marriage means sharing your poverty or prosperity; lack or abun­dance as well as your joys and pain together. For that reason, if the part­ner you have found is always de­manding from you, without giving anything back, it is bad news. Some people go to the extent of consist­ently borrowing to spend lavishly and prove a point to their partners. In such situations, where the per­son comes to you for money and you don’t have any, he or she gets upset. that is a bad news and you must look for someone who is ready to share.
Sharing is a two-way affair that involves giving and receiving. Therefore, if all that the male part­ner you have found does is come to your house, eat, blech and pray in tongues, that is bad news. Those are the marks of an irresponsible man, right from the beginning. As the lo­cal adage goes if the market day will be good, it shows in the morning. Early indications or warning signals are important.
A selfish persons is likely to be selfish for the rest of his or her life. Such people will insist that if they give you one kobo, you render a full account of it. That kind of person will not make any financial contri­bution but will enjoy all the benefis of a relationship without having the courtesy to ask where the resourc­es came from. marriage is sharing and not hiding what we have from each other.
You must marry somebody who is responsible and can share. Anybody who cannot share is not a good material for marriage. Mar­riage is about shared responsibili­ty in many ways. If somebody does not know how to take care of his parents or siblings, even when he is in a position to do so, he’s clear­ly a stingy person. Such person is not likely to take care of his partner. Don’t ignore the indicator that he’s not responsible for not being able to look after his family even when he is in a position to do so. I once downed a man becasue of this hab­it. Still date his mother and i are still in touch. In fact, she see me has a daughter she doesn’t have. And my reason for calling it quits with her son is not lost on her. She wished i was her daughter in law because i was always forcing him to take re­sponsibility for her and his siblings but for how long will i continue to egg on him to do the right thing. My fear was that i might not be able to change him afterall. After the marriage he might go back to be­ing his stingy and selfish self, know­ing I was capable of covering up his shortcoming with my resources.
It is okay to marry a poor per­son who is on the way to prosper­ity. However, it is unacceptable to marry a poor person who cannot share even the little he has with his partner.
You may see a person who clearly does not have much but he’s always willing to share the little he has. People like that are worth giv­ing a chance especially if he is hard­working and responsible. You can easily see that even though their beginning is small, their end shall greatly increase.
Culturally men play the domi­nant role in the family and they are considered the head. It is impor­tant to see discern whether or not he is able to share is resources with you. However, like i said, marriage is shared responsibility.
So many when they are de­sirous of marriage over look cer­tain important indicators. A per­son with a stingy partner is really unlucky because happiness is only guaranteed for as long as they con­tinue to have to give. Unfortunately, the more they give, the more their partners become more tight-fit­ted. They form the habit and it be­comes a pattern for them to safe their money while the other per­son shoulders all the responsibility.
When I was talking about re­cession and relationships in my last write up, i did mentioned a case of a couple, where the wife was living above her husband’s means not car­ing how it was affecting him. She happens to be from a well to do family and kept friends from sim­ilar family background. Presently, a full-time house wife with one in­come stream, from her husband, yet she lives well above his means, not minding that the man borrow’s from friends just to keep up appear­ances. According to a very close source to this couple, the wife could as well contribute to the upkeep of the family, but she will not. This is stinginess. Just imagine the plight of this man now that the recession is staring everyone at the face. There was the case of another couple that i mentioned who because of keep­ing up to family responsibility while his wife does nothing, took to drug trafficking, was caught and jailed.
Stinginess is a set up for breakup. In the situation that the man is the one that is stingy, most of often than not, this leads the woman to committing adultery just to make ends meet. Most mar­ried women who get involved in extramarital affairs do so because they want to meet the needs of their family. In some situation, the hus­bands of these women are not pau­pers, they are just stingy. Just be­casue the woman is able to fend for the family, they pretend to be broke while they go out and spend on their girlfriends.
A man who never thinks of buying anything for you while you are in courtship just because you don’t bother to ask him, is not a good potential for marriage. When he get used to this, it is difficult for he to give to you becasue he sees you as a survivor and a miss fix it. Don’t be a miss fix all or a Mr Fix all. Be sure your partner is caring also and can share. It is very necessary and tangent to your happines in a relationship or marriage.
You might be in a position to give your partner all that he or she requires but to be sure he or she is not stingy, you will do well to ask them for what you know they can afford to give you and see how free­ly or difficult it is to share with you.
One of my cousin’s made a mis­take of getting married to a stingy lady not up to two years ago but with time he will realise he has set himself up. From when they were in courtship, she wasn’t the type that will easily part with her mon­ey. She manages to buy one item when coming to visit her would be in laws then. Most of the time, she would just come all the way from Abuja without a single item. That was in courtship. Now, it is even worse, the thought doesn’t even cross her mind. All she cares is about herself. She uses one of this most expensive phones and pam­pers herself regulary. Fortunate­ly for her, her husband is the type who believes in spending lavishly on his wife and taking full respon­sibility of the home front. For him it is an ego thing, he takes pride in saying, my wife doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I don’t want it. If i can’t take care of her then why did i married her?

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